Long Way Down!

Why is it that when were in love, we seem to be on top of the mountain or up in the clouds? It's like being in space looking out over the world and saying this person has me truly spinning and it feels so good! It's in this moment that we may or may not realize what it truly means to love unselfishly, to give of yourself for another human being and to think of his or her needs before your own.Some call this the honeymoon phase and others call this the chemical imbalance that is going on in our brain that makes us feel all lovey dovey and they can do no wrong period! Truly however this phase is what you make it and if you want it to be the happiest moment of your new found relationship or just a bypass in the road of loneliness, then so be it. So many times we want to hold on to the ideas of what love is or how it's suppose to feel, look, and be that we loose sight of what it truly is. Love is never boastful, it's never angry, never blind, and love is very forgiving and kind. When we fall from that mountain or cloud, it truly is a long way down. And, the pain from the fall is sometimes life long and long lasting. The one thing I have discovered about love and the heart is that it's a strong muscle and with a little tender care from the right person, it can make a full recovery and climb that mountain again.The only thing I am sure of is if you live long enough, you will experience heartache and if you give it another shot you will find something wonderful and true. So, even though it's a long way down having love, finding love, and being love is worth all the bumps and bruises. Randomly Yours, Raven Storm!

Sex, What does it mean to you?

Sex is the act of two people sharing a mutual connection or body fluids... Only kidding, at least for myself. There are some people who make sex into one nite stands, meaningless hook-ups, or ways to cover up the pain of getting truly involved and hurt again. For me it is a much deeper connection to give myself in that way. I don't make it a point to have random sex and if I lay with you and keep in contact with you afterwards, then you are special and if I look at you while were in the act of being sexual or making love, then I am truly taken by you and my feelings are strong. I am very particular about who I sleep with, and who I let put their mouth on me and who I give myself to. As, adults you sleep with who you want whether it's the first nite, a week, or a month or two later. People feel that if you wait or hold out a person will have more respect for you, and it really depends on the person your with and their moral compass. It's funny because I started having sex at the age of 18 and I was always in relationships for years at a time. Even the one fling I had at the age of 22 was followed by months of chase and then a few months of hot enjoyable sex, yet I treated him as a piece of meat. That's all he was to me and no feelings were attached and I discarded him as such. Seeing as how I didn't enjoy that I never did that again to myself or another guy, even though he had no problem with it, and that was our understanding. Now that I am older I did something I have never done before and it was sleep with a man on the first nite and it felt so right! I mean he is different in so many ways, and the conversation was very good, it was something about his eyes, the calmness of his spirit and how gentle he was. I was drinking that nite, but I was in my right mind and it just felt right. Sex to me is something that I think about all the time, but I do not act on it. I have to be with someone that I care about or that I have chosen to give myself to and he will be the only one that I sleep with. I don't believe in sharing myself with more than one person at a time. It doesn't mean that I'm in love with you, means that I like you a lot. It takes a lot for me to fall in love with a man, and if and when I say those words then and only then does it mean that you truly have my heart and me. For some people sex is just that and only that! If, I put my mouth on you in all ways then you are special, & if I allow you to put your mouth on all parts of me that's a big deal! Now, I would like to believe that if a man puts his mouth on all parts of a woman he just meets that she means something to him or he's just nasty & if he does that to everyone he meets then he needs to be tested and some therapy too! That's just my opinion and my opinion only! Sometimes two people meet and have a connection that is so strong that any and everything happens. But, the key is to let it happen and not to try and control where it may lead. Sex to me means many different things and has many layers and can only be defined by you and the person you choose to have it with. So, if your into random sex, sex that leads to something or nothing or to whatever, just realize that it always involves a person's emotions. Always realize that sex means you must consider the other person and their feelings and the consequences that come along with it. Randomly Yours, Raven Storm!

Saying Goodbye!

How do you say good bye to the past? I mean it's not as easy as you think. Saying goodbye to the past comes with feelings of lost, love, pain, happiness, and sadness. I mean at what point do we give up on our dreams, our happiness, being loved, or wanting to love another human being. Goodbye's are a part of life and lessons learned, but what is the right way to say goodbye? Is there a good way to do it, because if so please tell me how. Letting go of all our secrets, the pain, the hurt, disappointments, and the fear of the unknown is hard to do. Sometimes, what's the best thing to do is also the hardest thing to do when it comes to matters of the heart. I realize about myself that I have to say goodbye to all the parts of my past and the people that have caused me pain, hurt, disappointment, fear of trust, & being terrified of loving completely. I can no longer hide and put on the happy face, when I know that I am hurting inside. The one thing I have come to terms with is that I deserve to be happy and to be loved in all ways. I have never taken out my past on any of my relationships, and I don't blame anyone else for the hurts of the past and even the ones of the present. Saying goodbye is something that is long overdue for me and it's something that has to be done in order for me to heal completely and to be free. When your heart is torn out and walked upon, or your love is abused and your kindness taken for granted, you tend to look at people and relationships differently. For me, I am afraid to breathe for fear that the bottom will drop and no one will be there to catch me. I mean dating or getting involved for me is so scarey, yet I put on the brave face that all is ok and i'm not worried what he may say or do! But, i am and ask God to see me through and make me realize and understand that what ever happens I will be okay. Once you have had your heart handed to you on a silver platter, it is easy to run for the hills or to pretend all is okay. I use to lock myself away and not date for years at a time and tell myself it was for the kids or I was too busy! Bullshit! I was just too afraid of getting hurt, or being let down again. This time I told myself and God that I would start living my life for me and that I deserve happiness, love, companionship, and someone to care about me as well. I also decided to say goodbye to my past and the people from my past life that caused me nothing but sadness and pain. Saying goodbye is really hard for me and I will always have some type of love for my past and the people from that chapter, but I am ready to live life again and be happy, and love again. I guess what i'm saying is that I learned from all my past relationships and they can't hurt me anymore, so I say goodbye to them my "Beautiful Mistakes". Randomly Yours, Raven Storm