Letting Down Your Guard

How do you let down your guard with someone who is always finding fault in everything you say or do? When your happy to see them or talk to them, they have this look on their face like your making them sick or unhappy or your not the person they want to see or be with. No matter how hard you try to be supportive or loving or giving, its never enough. If you mention what you like or want then your asking for too much or they get angry with you. Then its thrown back in your face and used against you. What do you do to show this person that they mean alot to you and that you would never do anything to hurt them or betray them, but in the process there hurting you and making you feel like your feelings don't matter or that you don't even mean anything to them. I know matters of the heart and sexual nature can be complicated, but it can also be very beautiful,powerful and special. When you know this person has feelings for you, but instead of letting down their guard or just showing or telling you, they pick fights with you, hold back emotion, or fuss about petty stuff that doesn't matter. Your at fault too because you get upset at times due to their behavior and lack of care towards you and you question whether or not their being honest with you or if they even notice your there. When your not allowed to even have a conversation with them on the phone only thru text, but you know that they talk to others all the time on the phone, but never you and that shit really hurts. You don't understand why they act like they hate you or like you did something wrong, or when they compare you to others they have been with. You know in your heart your nothing like the women they have been with and they know that too! It's suppose to be easy, fun, and some bumps in the road,but not boulders. You know that there worth the fuss and the sex is truly amazing,you just wish they would at least show that they care about you or at least tell you. Having to wonder or always feel like you did something wrong when you know you haven't is insane. Understanding that they have been hurt and disappointed by others, you try to be patient and allow them to vent their frustrations and be them, but they rarely allow you to be you. The smile that you have on your face when u see them, is never returned and the excitement that you feel you don't see it or feel it when there near. We all have problems and things happening in our life that can cause us to feel like were not loved or wanted or we have been hurt so bad that we put up this wall. Sometimes we have to realize when we have someone that cares for us and stop always pushing them away or making them feel like they did something wrong. You see them, you hear them, and you know that their hear, but you want them to be there for you too even in the smallest matters. They mean alot to you, but your still unsure of how much or what role they play in your heart because you haven't let down your guard just yet either. They scare you in a good way and they scare you in a bad way. In the end they mean more to you than you ever expected or wanted and it has nothing to do with the sex. When you look at them or into their eyes you can see the pain, the hurt, and the fact that they have love and care and compassion in their hearts. But, they have been hurt just like you have been hurt. You know you would do anything to make them happy and you would never do anything to betray them or hurt them ever. You just wish they knew it and trusted you when you said it and let you in and stop picking fights and just admit they like you and stop fighting it. So, you guys can get back to having fun and enjoying one another.

Being Tamed!

Have you ever heard of the saying trying to tame a wild horse or that horse needs to be tamed? I think sometimes that their are some women who truly are wild in the sense, that they are very strong and independent and afraid to let their guards down. Kinda like trying to tame a wild horse. I mean if you truly think about it, their are certain types of men out there that are for the taming and some who truly are not up for the challenge.I guess what I am saying is that when a man meets a woman he knows if she is easily broken or if she is going to take some work. I guess i'm a wild horse in some ways, especially when it comes to relationships and work. For me it's going to take the right man to truly tame me and make me feel secure within a friendship, relationship, and just being able to trust him,his words,his actions,and that his intentions are true when it comes to the us, our, and we. It' so funny to me when my friends and I sit and talk about men who get with crazy women, women with drama or baggage and the many kids or many marriages or just the lying period.Then my friends say to me that black men are sorry, liars, or just a mess. I choose to believe that every man is different and I will never give up on the black man. You have good ones and bad ones and it's all a toss up in the game of friendship & love. But, in the end do we tame our men or do they tame us? Maybe we tame each other and it shouldn't really matter who got who or which one of you are calling the shots. As long as you have respect, love, trust, honesty, and communication you can go far and make any friendship or relationship work through good times and bad times. As always i'm Raven Storm and these are just my random thoughts!

Friendships & Mistakes!

Sometimes it seems as if we are just going through the motions. Like the choices we have made are defining our present life. I guess what I am saying is that we choose the wrong people to be friends with, lovers, spouses, and even the wrong careers. At what point do we decide to make the right choices or correct the mistakes of the pass. I sit and think about the people I have allowed into my life friends and the men I have had relationships with. I have no regrets, but within the friends department I have reservations about those I have allowed into my life. Every relationship is a lesson learned and something different discovered. But, in some cases it can be a horrible mistake to invite a new friend into your life and have them blame you, or treat you as if you ruined the friendship. I mean anytime there is conflict you should be able to handle it as adults and maintain the friendship, unless you were never friends to begin with or unless you lied about how you really felt towards the person. There are times when we have to accept that people are not who they say they are and that sometimes we have made an error in judgement when it comes to trusting the person. It doesn't mean you don't trust the next person, you just have to be a little bit more careful! I know that life happens to us all and it's how you choose to handle it in the end. As for myself, I will handle it with grace and hold my head up high. If I am not wanted in someone's life or if they want me to not call, text, or write them then I have to respect their wishes and their privacy. I know how special I am and that my feelings come from a place of happiness, love, and support. And, that if that makes me an emotional or over caring person then I hold that title with pride. I have always been a very loving person who sees the beauty in all and also knows that ugliness lies within us as well. I refuse to change into a person who hides how she feels or thinks and if my emotions come across as something more, that's not always the case. I want a person to know how special they are to me at all times and that includes my friends, family, and partners. For that I will not apologize for or be made to feel guilty about ever. And, the people that have come and gone in my life I am thankful for... Randomly Yours, Raven Storm

Deserving To Be Treated The Right Way!

Are we really being treated the way we deserve and need to be? I ask this question because so many times we allow others to walk all over us, give us the crap that's left over, disrespect us, and make us feel as if we have done something wrong because we show them love or something they have never had before. How many times have you been with someone or liked a person, only to have them not appreciate you or tell you how bad their last relationship was or that their not use to all the love and attention your giving them. I find it hard to believe that a person would stay with someone who never tells them how special they are, that their life is so much brighter with them in it, take the time to listen to their needs, support their dreams, make love to their mind as we as their body and just give them intimacy everyday in every way. I must admit I am a romantic and I believe in love and that their is a good man out their somewhere waiting to find me or we find each other. And, even with the fears I have it's worth the risk for love with the right person. People forget that love is never boastful, it's not proud, it's not blind, but it's patient, kind, forgiving, and stands through the good and the bad at all times. Maybe, I am just a sucker when it comes to matters of the heart but I know that I would rather have loved than to have never had it at all. I also know that I deserve a strong, loving, kind, and gentle man who treats me as his equal, yet still me knowing that he is the head at all times and we respect and love one another and can agree to disagree and he will be my King and I his Queen. That's what I want and as women we need to allow men to be that knight in shining armour for us. What I mean is allow a man to be a man and follow his lead and you may be surprise by the journey you guys take and the wonders you explore together. And, men allow your woman to shine and treat her with care and attention and realize that she will be your backbone and follow you to the ends of the earth as long as you make her a priority. Don't ever allow others to treat you less than what you deserve. And if a person leaves you or walks out, then they never deserved you to begin with. A lot of times taking someone back shows how we really truly feel about ourselves. I love myself and refuse to go back to someone who left me as if there was another great woman out their. When you know your self worth and your true value, you will never allow a person to come back and treat you the same or act as if their actions were okay! If, that person really loved and wanted you then they would have never left or made the mistakes they did to ruin the relationship to begin with. It's something to truly think about! Randomly Yours, Raven Storm

Allowing Love In!

The title says it all, yet it's so easy to type how I feel or think as to telling it to the one that really matters. It use to be that I was so full of love, hope,happiness, & trust. I am unsure of what to allow in when it comes to loving a man. I am so afraid of being hurt and terrified to death of being disappointed that I only allow myself to feel to a certain point. It's not the best way to deal with love or falling in love with someone, but it allows me to decide how much or how far I get involved or vested in. Sometimes there's a part of me that wants to jump in head first, then there's the other half that just tip toes in. Once you been hurt, it's hard to let another person into that most sacred part of your heart. I know that I have a lot of love to give, but only to the right person and I know that he will take care of my heart and protect it as I would his. I'm not afraid to love, I'm afraid of being hurt and lied too. I pray constantly and I trust in God and know that all will be okay! But, sometimes it's nice to know that there is someone out there that's all yours and they miss you, carry you in their spirit and the love in their heart is so over flowing. That's what I want and that's what I have to give, but only to the right person. I will know him by the way he treats me, thinks of me, and how he shows me that I am his "Queen" and he will be my 'King" in every since of the word. I am so ready to allow love in, but patience is a virtue and I have plenty of that~ Randomly Yours, Raven Storm

"Boo Thang" What is it?

Boo Thang- According to the Urban Dictionary it is someone that is not your partner, but you care for them, respect them, spend time with them, and got a lot of love for the person. Some of us fall into this category and are quite content on staying there. We see this as a ghetto term of endearment and a way to have the one we truly want, without the expectations of a real relationship and without really making them our one and only. I have used this term in a joking manner, when it was introduced to me and thought it was very funny! But, by no means do I have a "Boo Thang" or will I ever think of the one I deem special or important as such. The person that I have envisioned or deemed worthy is a special man and he far exceeds the realm of a "Boo Thang". He is the real deal in every since of the word. The smile he puts on my face, the laughter he brings from within me, how he brightens my day, and feed my mind with lovely words & thoughts. He has a special place in my heart and that is not easy to do, but he is very welcomed & wanted. A nice change of pace and much needed peace. He puts me at ease and makes feel important in all aspects. Sometimes we meet people and they are the perfect fit for us, but they are going through a break-up, involved with another, or simply just hurt and afraid from the past. At that moment we can either cut our losses, or just let it play out and see where the road takes us. I can say I have never had a "Boo Thang", nor do I want one. But, I am loving getting to know the "Real Thang". Randomly Yours, Raven Storm

Complicated, Yet So Simple!

How can it be that we meet a person and they feel so right and so easy to communicate with and all you want to do is be around them all the time. Yet, the person you have at home or are currently with doesn't even know you at all. I mean you argue, they never get your sense of humor, your carrying their ass, dealing with their bullshit or family drama, they may lie or cheat, and even be selfish. But, for some reason we stay and yet we know that the grass can be greener & easier on the other side and if we make the leap, we may just get the prize we have been waiting for. It really is complicated because if we give in to the person who gets us and makes us feel what we have longed for, then we have to admit our flaws and wonder if they are willing to put up with our many imperfections. Yet, it so simple to go with the person who makes you feel alive and who sees you and gets you. This person thinks of you and isn't afraid to tell you or anyone who will listen how special you are to them. The conversation you have with them is like making love to your mind and body all at once. Me myself prefer simple, I've done complicated and it is not a good look for me. I want and I deserve to have a good man to hold, love, support, encourage, and make me feel like I am his everything. In return I will treat him as my "King" in every sense of the word and he will always know how special he is to me and my love will be for only him. We will be tag team partner's in life, love, and romance. Complicated yet so simple and simple is what I choose...Randomly Yours, Raven Storm