Being Tamed!

Have you ever heard of the saying trying to tame a wild horse or that horse needs to be tamed? I think sometimes that their are some women who truly are wild in the sense, that they are very strong and independent and afraid to let their guards down. Kinda like trying to tame a wild horse. I mean if you truly think about it, their are certain types of men out there that are for the taming and some who truly are not up for the challenge.I guess what I am saying is that when a man meets a woman he knows if she is easily broken or if she is going to take some work. I guess i'm a wild horse in some ways, especially when it comes to relationships and work. For me it's going to take the right man to truly tame me and make me feel secure within a friendship, relationship, and just being able to trust him,his words,his actions,and that his intentions are true when it comes to the us, our, and we. It' so funny to me when my friends and I sit and talk about men who get with crazy women, women with drama or baggage and the many kids or many marriages or just the lying period.Then my friends say to me that black men are sorry, liars, or just a mess. I choose to believe that every man is different and I will never give up on the black man. You have good ones and bad ones and it's all a toss up in the game of friendship & love. But, in the end do we tame our men or do they tame us? Maybe we tame each other and it shouldn't really matter who got who or which one of you are calling the shots. As long as you have respect, love, trust, honesty, and communication you can go far and make any friendship or relationship work through good times and bad times. As always i'm Raven Storm and these are just my random thoughts!

Friendships & Mistakes!

Sometimes it seems as if we are just going through the motions. Like the choices we have made are defining our present life. I guess what I am saying is that we choose the wrong people to be friends with, lovers, spouses, and even the wrong careers. At what point do we decide to make the right choices or correct the mistakes of the pass. I sit and think about the people I have allowed into my life friends and the men I have had relationships with. I have no regrets, but within the friends department I have reservations about those I have allowed into my life. Every relationship is a lesson learned and something different discovered. But, in some cases it can be a horrible mistake to invite a new friend into your life and have them blame you, or treat you as if you ruined the friendship. I mean anytime there is conflict you should be able to handle it as adults and maintain the friendship, unless you were never friends to begin with or unless you lied about how you really felt towards the person. There are times when we have to accept that people are not who they say they are and that sometimes we have made an error in judgement when it comes to trusting the person. It doesn't mean you don't trust the next person, you just have to be a little bit more careful! I know that life happens to us all and it's how you choose to handle it in the end. As for myself, I will handle it with grace and hold my head up high. If I am not wanted in someone's life or if they want me to not call, text, or write them then I have to respect their wishes and their privacy. I know how special I am and that my feelings come from a place of happiness, love, and support. And, that if that makes me an emotional or over caring person then I hold that title with pride. I have always been a very loving person who sees the beauty in all and also knows that ugliness lies within us as well. I refuse to change into a person who hides how she feels or thinks and if my emotions come across as something more, that's not always the case. I want a person to know how special they are to me at all times and that includes my friends, family, and partners. For that I will not apologize for or be made to feel guilty about ever. And, the people that have come and gone in my life I am thankful for... Randomly Yours, Raven Storm

Deserving To Be Treated The Right Way!

Are we really being treated the way we deserve and need to be? I ask this question because so many times we allow others to walk all over us, give us the crap that's left over, disrespect us, and make us feel as if we have done something wrong because we show them love or something they have never had before. How many times have you been with someone or liked a person, only to have them not appreciate you or tell you how bad their last relationship was or that their not use to all the love and attention your giving them. I find it hard to believe that a person would stay with someone who never tells them how special they are, that their life is so much brighter with them in it, take the time to listen to their needs, support their dreams, make love to their mind as we as their body and just give them intimacy everyday in every way. I must admit I am a romantic and I believe in love and that their is a good man out their somewhere waiting to find me or we find each other. And, even with the fears I have it's worth the risk for love with the right person. People forget that love is never boastful, it's not proud, it's not blind, but it's patient, kind, forgiving, and stands through the good and the bad at all times. Maybe, I am just a sucker when it comes to matters of the heart but I know that I would rather have loved than to have never had it at all. I also know that I deserve a strong, loving, kind, and gentle man who treats me as his equal, yet still me knowing that he is the head at all times and we respect and love one another and can agree to disagree and he will be my King and I his Queen. That's what I want and as women we need to allow men to be that knight in shining armour for us. What I mean is allow a man to be a man and follow his lead and you may be surprise by the journey you guys take and the wonders you explore together. And, men allow your woman to shine and treat her with care and attention and realize that she will be your backbone and follow you to the ends of the earth as long as you make her a priority. Don't ever allow others to treat you less than what you deserve. And if a person leaves you or walks out, then they never deserved you to begin with. A lot of times taking someone back shows how we really truly feel about ourselves. I love myself and refuse to go back to someone who left me as if there was another great woman out their. When you know your self worth and your true value, you will never allow a person to come back and treat you the same or act as if their actions were okay! If, that person really loved and wanted you then they would have never left or made the mistakes they did to ruin the relationship to begin with. It's something to truly think about! Randomly Yours, Raven Storm

Allowing Love In!

The title says it all, yet it's so easy to type how I feel or think as to telling it to the one that really matters. It use to be that I was so full of love, hope,happiness, & trust. I am unsure of what to allow in when it comes to loving a man. I am so afraid of being hurt and terrified to death of being disappointed that I only allow myself to feel to a certain point. It's not the best way to deal with love or falling in love with someone, but it allows me to decide how much or how far I get involved or vested in. Sometimes there's a part of me that wants to jump in head first, then there's the other half that just tip toes in. Once you been hurt, it's hard to let another person into that most sacred part of your heart. I know that I have a lot of love to give, but only to the right person and I know that he will take care of my heart and protect it as I would his. I'm not afraid to love, I'm afraid of being hurt and lied too. I pray constantly and I trust in God and know that all will be okay! But, sometimes it's nice to know that there is someone out there that's all yours and they miss you, carry you in their spirit and the love in their heart is so over flowing. That's what I want and that's what I have to give, but only to the right person. I will know him by the way he treats me, thinks of me, and how he shows me that I am his "Queen" and he will be my 'King" in every since of the word. I am so ready to allow love in, but patience is a virtue and I have plenty of that~ Randomly Yours, Raven Storm

"Boo Thang" What is it?

Boo Thang- According to the Urban Dictionary it is someone that is not your partner, but you care for them, respect them, spend time with them, and got a lot of love for the person. Some of us fall into this category and are quite content on staying there. We see this as a ghetto term of endearment and a way to have the one we truly want, without the expectations of a real relationship and without really making them our one and only. I have used this term in a joking manner, when it was introduced to me and thought it was very funny! But, by no means do I have a "Boo Thang" or will I ever think of the one I deem special or important as such. The person that I have envisioned or deemed worthy is a special man and he far exceeds the realm of a "Boo Thang". He is the real deal in every since of the word. The smile he puts on my face, the laughter he brings from within me, how he brightens my day, and feed my mind with lovely words & thoughts. He has a special place in my heart and that is not easy to do, but he is very welcomed & wanted. A nice change of pace and much needed peace. He puts me at ease and makes feel important in all aspects. Sometimes we meet people and they are the perfect fit for us, but they are going through a break-up, involved with another, or simply just hurt and afraid from the past. At that moment we can either cut our losses, or just let it play out and see where the road takes us. I can say I have never had a "Boo Thang", nor do I want one. But, I am loving getting to know the "Real Thang". Randomly Yours, Raven Storm

Complicated, Yet So Simple!

How can it be that we meet a person and they feel so right and so easy to communicate with and all you want to do is be around them all the time. Yet, the person you have at home or are currently with doesn't even know you at all. I mean you argue, they never get your sense of humor, your carrying their ass, dealing with their bullshit or family drama, they may lie or cheat, and even be selfish. But, for some reason we stay and yet we know that the grass can be greener & easier on the other side and if we make the leap, we may just get the prize we have been waiting for. It really is complicated because if we give in to the person who gets us and makes us feel what we have longed for, then we have to admit our flaws and wonder if they are willing to put up with our many imperfections. Yet, it so simple to go with the person who makes you feel alive and who sees you and gets you. This person thinks of you and isn't afraid to tell you or anyone who will listen how special you are to them. The conversation you have with them is like making love to your mind and body all at once. Me myself prefer simple, I've done complicated and it is not a good look for me. I want and I deserve to have a good man to hold, love, support, encourage, and make me feel like I am his everything. In return I will treat him as my "King" in every sense of the word and he will always know how special he is to me and my love will be for only him. We will be tag team partner's in life, love, and romance. Complicated yet so simple and simple is what I choose...Randomly Yours, Raven Storm

Long Way Down!

Why is it that when were in love, we seem to be on top of the mountain or up in the clouds? It's like being in space looking out over the world and saying this person has me truly spinning and it feels so good! It's in this moment that we may or may not realize what it truly means to love unselfishly, to give of yourself for another human being and to think of his or her needs before your own.Some call this the honeymoon phase and others call this the chemical imbalance that is going on in our brain that makes us feel all lovey dovey and they can do no wrong period! Truly however this phase is what you make it and if you want it to be the happiest moment of your new found relationship or just a bypass in the road of loneliness, then so be it. So many times we want to hold on to the ideas of what love is or how it's suppose to feel, look, and be that we loose sight of what it truly is. Love is never boastful, it's never angry, never blind, and love is very forgiving and kind. When we fall from that mountain or cloud, it truly is a long way down. And, the pain from the fall is sometimes life long and long lasting. The one thing I have discovered about love and the heart is that it's a strong muscle and with a little tender care from the right person, it can make a full recovery and climb that mountain again.The only thing I am sure of is if you live long enough, you will experience heartache and if you give it another shot you will find something wonderful and true. So, even though it's a long way down having love, finding love, and being love is worth all the bumps and bruises. Randomly Yours, Raven Storm!

Sex, What does it mean to you?

Sex is the act of two people sharing a mutual connection or body fluids... Only kidding, at least for myself. There are some people who make sex into one nite stands, meaningless hook-ups, or ways to cover up the pain of getting truly involved and hurt again. For me it is a much deeper connection to give myself in that way. I don't make it a point to have random sex and if I lay with you and keep in contact with you afterwards, then you are special and if I look at you while were in the act of being sexual or making love, then I am truly taken by you and my feelings are strong. I am very particular about who I sleep with, and who I let put their mouth on me and who I give myself to. As, adults you sleep with who you want whether it's the first nite, a week, or a month or two later. People feel that if you wait or hold out a person will have more respect for you, and it really depends on the person your with and their moral compass. It's funny because I started having sex at the age of 18 and I was always in relationships for years at a time. Even the one fling I had at the age of 22 was followed by months of chase and then a few months of hot enjoyable sex, yet I treated him as a piece of meat. That's all he was to me and no feelings were attached and I discarded him as such. Seeing as how I didn't enjoy that I never did that again to myself or another guy, even though he had no problem with it, and that was our understanding. Now that I am older I did something I have never done before and it was sleep with a man on the first nite and it felt so right! I mean he is different in so many ways, and the conversation was very good, it was something about his eyes, the calmness of his spirit and how gentle he was. I was drinking that nite, but I was in my right mind and it just felt right. Sex to me is something that I think about all the time, but I do not act on it. I have to be with someone that I care about or that I have chosen to give myself to and he will be the only one that I sleep with. I don't believe in sharing myself with more than one person at a time. It doesn't mean that I'm in love with you, means that I like you a lot. It takes a lot for me to fall in love with a man, and if and when I say those words then and only then does it mean that you truly have my heart and me. For some people sex is just that and only that! If, I put my mouth on you in all ways then you are special, & if I allow you to put your mouth on all parts of me that's a big deal! Now, I would like to believe that if a man puts his mouth on all parts of a woman he just meets that she means something to him or he's just nasty & if he does that to everyone he meets then he needs to be tested and some therapy too! That's just my opinion and my opinion only! Sometimes two people meet and have a connection that is so strong that any and everything happens. But, the key is to let it happen and not to try and control where it may lead. Sex to me means many different things and has many layers and can only be defined by you and the person you choose to have it with. So, if your into random sex, sex that leads to something or nothing or to whatever, just realize that it always involves a person's emotions. Always realize that sex means you must consider the other person and their feelings and the consequences that come along with it. Randomly Yours, Raven Storm!

Saying Goodbye!

How do you say good bye to the past? I mean it's not as easy as you think. Saying goodbye to the past comes with feelings of lost, love, pain, happiness, and sadness. I mean at what point do we give up on our dreams, our happiness, being loved, or wanting to love another human being. Goodbye's are a part of life and lessons learned, but what is the right way to say goodbye? Is there a good way to do it, because if so please tell me how. Letting go of all our secrets, the pain, the hurt, disappointments, and the fear of the unknown is hard to do. Sometimes, what's the best thing to do is also the hardest thing to do when it comes to matters of the heart. I realize about myself that I have to say goodbye to all the parts of my past and the people that have caused me pain, hurt, disappointment, fear of trust, & being terrified of loving completely. I can no longer hide and put on the happy face, when I know that I am hurting inside. The one thing I have come to terms with is that I deserve to be happy and to be loved in all ways. I have never taken out my past on any of my relationships, and I don't blame anyone else for the hurts of the past and even the ones of the present. Saying goodbye is something that is long overdue for me and it's something that has to be done in order for me to heal completely and to be free. When your heart is torn out and walked upon, or your love is abused and your kindness taken for granted, you tend to look at people and relationships differently. For me, I am afraid to breathe for fear that the bottom will drop and no one will be there to catch me. I mean dating or getting involved for me is so scarey, yet I put on the brave face that all is ok and i'm not worried what he may say or do! But, i am and ask God to see me through and make me realize and understand that what ever happens I will be okay. Once you have had your heart handed to you on a silver platter, it is easy to run for the hills or to pretend all is okay. I use to lock myself away and not date for years at a time and tell myself it was for the kids or I was too busy! Bullshit! I was just too afraid of getting hurt, or being let down again. This time I told myself and God that I would start living my life for me and that I deserve happiness, love, companionship, and someone to care about me as well. I also decided to say goodbye to my past and the people from my past life that caused me nothing but sadness and pain. Saying goodbye is really hard for me and I will always have some type of love for my past and the people from that chapter, but I am ready to live life again and be happy, and love again. I guess what i'm saying is that I learned from all my past relationships and they can't hurt me anymore, so I say goodbye to them my "Beautiful Mistakes". Randomly Yours, Raven Storm

Flaws, Imperfections and All!

Today started off like any other day and yet I felt so different. I think a lot of the imperfections that we all have and yet, some how we find that person that accepts flaws and all. The smile that may have some gaps, that is crooked, the body that is not perfect, hair that's a mess, too many freckles or moles, and the funny way you walk and talk! How when we look at each other we notice the scars and blemishes on the face, our body, in the way we see the world or think. It's because of these flaws that makes us realize how no one is perfect! Why does he or she love me or like me, with all these flaws or mistakes? Maybe because they see the beauty that is you or maybe they see what is deep down inside and they want to know more about you. Sometimes, the flaws are what make us truly special in our on way and unique in our own right and shine as bright as the distant light. One never knows why or how a person may love you or see you and what your flaws may mean to them. It can be a beautiful mistake that is what it is and know one, not even you can explain what it is about flaws that make us like or love a person and accept ourselves imperfections and all. So, the next time you decide to question what it is that someone likes or love about you realize it's everything flaws and all. Randomly Yours, Raven Storm

Having Doubts No Longer!

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The Art of Loving You!

To love someone is to give of yourself in all ways. It is to explore sides of yourself that you never knew you really had inside. You begin to think of the other person and wonder how there doing. If there day is going well, if they need anything, can you be of help, or how much you want to be near them, under them, around them, & on top of them. You carry them in your spirit and you want nothing but the best for them. When I think of you, whoever you may be or where ever you are a smile comes upon my face and my heart skips a beat. To love you is to know you and to know you is to want you even more. It's funny how the art of loving someone is different from person to person. For me it's wishing you a great day, letting you know that your on my mind, telling you good nite, showing you how special you really are. The Art of Loving You is so much more than just saying the words, but it's also showing you how much I care for you. Sometimes, it's not always easy to love you or to wanna be without you, but at the end of the day I wouldn't have it any other way. The smile you bring upon my face, the way your hands caress my body, how your eyes look into mine, and how your kiss ignites something inside of me that I can't explain. The Art of Loving You is something I wouldn't trade for all the tea in China. It's like watching the sun rise & set all in the same moment. Because of you I wanna love again and explore the parts of my heart that I locked away. I am no longer afraid to love, to be happy, to be wanted, to feel needed, or even be hurt. So, I say thanks to The Art of Loving You! Randomly Yours, Raven Storm

Attention, What is it and who deserves it?

Attention - means to concentrate on something or careful thought. To me I feel that everyone at some point in their life deserves to have someone give them attention. I mean even if it's a smile from across the room, a kind word to start or end your day, or someone letting you know that your special in some kind of way. You deserve that and you've earned it. It's funny how the little things to some people never matter, yet to me the little things make-up the big things. Being told that I'm missed, a call just because, a text to say hi, roses because their my favorite, surprises for any and no reason is attention that I love and it's those small moments that make it all worth it. I so enjoy letting my friends and people that I care for know how I feel about them. When were dead and gone it's too late, so why not show that attention while were still here. When people tell me that they have never had anyone care for them or show them attention, I feel sad for them because why would you be with someone who never showed or paid you any attention. Just because you have done it alone for so long, doesn't make it right! It's okay to let someone in and to let them hold you, love you, be there for you, and pay attention to you. The words that people say, aren't always followed by their actions. I prefer to have a person show me as well as tell how they feel. You can do it by getting me a card, writing me a letter, doing something simple for me. Having my favorite ice cream, which is butter pecan, hallmark cards, stuff animals, or just saying I was thinking about you or I missed you. Attention is so easy to get for all the wrong reasons, but when you get it for all the right reasons or just for being you it's a beautiful thing. Especially when it's from someone who is worthy of your attention. So, the next time someone is giving you some attention say to yourself I deserve it and the person giving it must really care & think I'm worth it. Randomly Yours, Raven Storm!