Saying Goodbye!

How do you say good bye to the past? I mean it's not as easy as you think. Saying goodbye to the past comes with feelings of lost, love, pain, happiness, and sadness. I mean at what point do we give up on our dreams, our happiness, being loved, or wanting to love another human being. Goodbye's are a part of life and lessons learned, but what is the right way to say goodbye? Is there a good way to do it, because if so please tell me how. Letting go of all our secrets, the pain, the hurt, disappointments, and the fear of the unknown is hard to do. Sometimes, what's the best thing to do is also the hardest thing to do when it comes to matters of the heart. I realize about myself that I have to say goodbye to all the parts of my past and the people that have caused me pain, hurt, disappointment, fear of trust, & being terrified of loving completely. I can no longer hide and put on the happy face, when I know that I am hurting inside. The one thing I have come to terms with is that I deserve to be happy and to be loved in all ways. I have never taken out my past on any of my relationships, and I don't blame anyone else for the hurts of the past and even the ones of the present. Saying goodbye is something that is long overdue for me and it's something that has to be done in order for me to heal completely and to be free. When your heart is torn out and walked upon, or your love is abused and your kindness taken for granted, you tend to look at people and relationships differently. For me, I am afraid to breathe for fear that the bottom will drop and no one will be there to catch me. I mean dating or getting involved for me is so scarey, yet I put on the brave face that all is ok and i'm not worried what he may say or do! But, i am and ask God to see me through and make me realize and understand that what ever happens I will be okay. Once you have had your heart handed to you on a silver platter, it is easy to run for the hills or to pretend all is okay. I use to lock myself away and not date for years at a time and tell myself it was for the kids or I was too busy! Bullshit! I was just too afraid of getting hurt, or being let down again. This time I told myself and God that I would start living my life for me and that I deserve happiness, love, companionship, and someone to care about me as well. I also decided to say goodbye to my past and the people from my past life that caused me nothing but sadness and pain. Saying goodbye is really hard for me and I will always have some type of love for my past and the people from that chapter, but I am ready to live life again and be happy, and love again. I guess what i'm saying is that I learned from all my past relationships and they can't hurt me anymore, so I say goodbye to them my "Beautiful Mistakes". Randomly Yours, Raven Storm